Sunday, May 11, 2014

Willingness

Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and what not? What are these, social networking websites? I mean, for a not-very-social person like me, and hundreds like me, what could it be? What is it really for all people who use it? I would like to add a usage to it other than Social Networking, it is an escape from reality. It is our keeping-busy mode, when you don't have anything to do - or you do but don't want to do it. Now what am I so frustrated about, really?

Being out of reality.

As humans, knowing good from bad, is called sixth sense. All of us have it (I think). As a kid, you know something is wrong, you refrain from doing it, just somehow you "know" it could get you into trouble. Like not wanting to go with a stranger even the one who has a chocolate to give you. You can say that they are the things that elders teach you, and kids just pick up pattern of behaviour to apply them to make logical decisions like - to go with a stranger - or not. 

But really, "that" feeling, that just to "know" it isn't right, without someone telling? Even as adults, not to take a route, avoiding a person/situation,  I'm sure you would have felt it. That's how I felt this morning. Out of reality. My keeping-busy modes just dint work this morning, as my thoughts were louder. A friend wanted to know (kept wanting to know), if she was on the right track with life. I felt, why this question when everything just "seems" to be okay. Just when I was by invisible force into that position, I knew what she meant. If Universe just isn't a bunch of planets & stars to you, you will understand what I now say, when I say, I just stumbled upon a great article on a website, on this very day, this trying to getting-in-touch-with-Life day. A conversation the great painter Picasso has with a famous photographer. To make things simple, I quote, (or he does), 

"When you have something to say, to express, any submission becomes unbearable in the long run. One must have the courage of one's vocation and the courage to make a living from one's vocation. The "second career" is an illusion! I was often broke too, and I always resisted any temptation to live any other way than from my painting... In the beginning, I did not sell at a high price, but I sold. My drawings, my canvasses went. that's what counts"

This was a beautiful read, and before I went on to read something else, it hit me, its not just the courage to pursue what you want, but the willingness to first accept what you really need to do with life. Looking at success stories of various people, most of them value success to money, social status etc. or really, does it come to them, to those who willingly accept what they need to do with life. I say, need, rather than want. As needs are quite stubborn, compared to wants. It is a need that keeps you awake at night, "that" feeling that something isn't right in life, you could do more of what you do or do something different. I think my ranting is has about boiled down to everything I wanted to say.

Be willing for reality, be willing to hear your inner voice, that's it. And Log off. :)

Thursday, November 15, 2012

..Making Sense..

I love epiphanic moments. Moments that make you shift to another world where things which you did not notice before makes so much sense now, or the things you thought made much value to you are not what they seem like.

Everybody has them. I have it like every week because I keep looking for it.

So then, there I was walking towards the temple from home. Let me tell you the way to go from my house to the main road is a mud road, with lush green on either side. Cows have been keeping company for the past week in that road. I'm here for only about a month so things still haven't settled much in my mind of how I got here. Anyway, while you are walking and there's no music in your ears, (and if you are a woman........) there would be tons of things running in your mind. This day though, my mind was filled with memories of my schooling. I couldn't quite put my finger on why these pictures of my school days kept flashing in my mind.

Reached I to the Temple, peace and 15 minutes later I'm back on that road,

Mud road.

No cows now, thank God.

And I felt it again, like breeze. You know that, memories are not only pictures and sounds? They compose of feelings too. Feelings are the value of memories. I felt my memories of running around in the school playground feeling so weightless. Weightless in the measure of emotions and ego. Living each day to the minute that I dint have time to think of any future or any past. I could hear the sounds of nature so clearly the moment I shifted back to my childhood form internally. Everything looked and sounded new, from the butterflies to the rustling of trees. I could do all this since I dint have to pretend to be a grown up in that lonely road.

I realised that things seem afresh, since as a kid you do not know many things that your mind keeps alert to ask questions. Hearing the rustle of trees, I remembered something. The first time I heard it so distinctly was when I was trekking with my Dad. He immediately told me that there has to be a stream somewhere close  by, and that the sound is similar to a good breeze passing in between trees. Back home and few days later, I come running to my Dad saying, "There has to be a stream somewhere close by, I can hear it." Ofcourse, it wasn't, it was only the rustle of trees. So this concept of newness and looking at things differently made my day a bit more special.

That beautiful 15 minute walk home gave me a beautiful day. And a beautiful memory. Hope you too feel the newness of each day and have a beautiful day ahead!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Humming Entry into Spirituality

I'm new to this. Not totally. Meditation is one thing that I do off and on from a very young age.I have been inclined to spirituality from my childhood; the unknown is something which interests me, like it could any human with a good supply of curiosity.

That's when I have stumbled upon a National treasure grove of - Thirumandiram written by Thirumoolar. This book covers an aspect of Spirituality which I feel is much modern in its quality and could easily fit in to our generation's mindset.

Somehow by the 99th page, this yearning to write again pushed me in to doing this -

A Humm for Spirituality
(An English title for a Thamizh poem;) )


Nizhazhgal pala, adhil karpanaiyin nirangal thunai,
Irulil badhil thedum iru vizhi...
"Yen?" endra kelvikku theervu, en padhaiyin mudivu...

Shadows many, with the company of the colours of imagination,
I search for an answer through this darkness,
My journey ends with the answer to my question of "Why?"



And, I abruptly end this blog post.